Last night, the mighty, what’s our name, Cuttting Edge Painting (thanks to Wiezey for the t-shirts & hats)…ended the season at the Sands as undefeated Champs. 15-0. Well done to us. We are great. Just a plucky group of guys that somehow kept winning.
Behold the world’s worst undefeated softball team…
Yes, ladies, some of those guys are single…which ones? Oh, the ugly ones of course. Sorry about.
Across the back row, it’s Bartine, Honk, Wiezey, Corey, and Richter. In the front, it’s Randy, yours truly, Sully, Alex, and Pedey. Not pictured: Thoma.
Our defense…stellar….hitting…sporadic…ability to drink while playing…again, stellar.
This was an excellent minor sports achievement for us all. Most of our wives seem rather unimpressed.
Elisabetta Cannellis - Does she even talk? Congrats for being famous for hanging on George Clooney’s arm.
David Arquette - They called him “Mr. Showbiz” or something like that when they introduced him last night. That’s ridiculous. Although, he does deserve an Oscar nod for his role in “8 Legged Freaks”.
Nancy Grace - My wife nearly jumped for joy when she heard Nancy Grace’s name. She didn’t jump though…we’ve curbed jumping on the nearly 6 month pregnant lady. Nancy Grace though? She will be terrible…and I have the feeling she will be complaining a bunch. (what? Nancy Grace complaining? Get out of here!)
And my #1 complaint….Ron Artest. Err…Meta World Peace. He’s in the process of changing his name to Meta World Peace, but can’t yet until he gets some unpaid parking tickets taken care of first (This is true by the way). Ron Artest is awful. If you don’t remember, it was just a few short years ago that he ran into the crowd during an NBA game in Detroit, and began throwing punches at fans. It led to one of the worst moments in sports….but let’s reward you with this. The guy is as close to crazy as you can be without being techinically crazy. The guy is nuts…and not in that fun Charlie Sheen way…nuts in a thuggish way. This man doesn’t even deserve to be in the NBA.
I do hope JR Martinez does well…good for him.
Unstoppable
Denzel Washington…out of control train…most excellent. Very good movie…A-.
The Help
Jennifer went and saw “The Help” over the weekend, and really enjoyed it. She gives it an A-/B+. (a very high B+)
Bachelor Pad
How ridiculous is that Melissa? Holy cow. She’s not Ron Artest nuts…but she might be nuts.
How sad was it watching Michael deal with his turmoil while Holly was on the date with Blake?
Alright, I’ll admit, my watching of MTV consists of a few random moments of catching The Jersey Shore (however, this will change in October when Beavis & Butthead come back…will the younger kids even know the “Winger” shirt? Probably not)….so I’m definitley out of the M TV loop. I get that. I’m 34. I’m apparently too old. Wait, I’m only 33. Whatever.
My thoughts on the VMAs…
It was terrible.
First off, who was the “house band”? The girl wearing the spandex with the busted foot? Who was that? Did they mention that earlier in the show? Did I miss that? It drove me nuts….and why are you singing “No Scrubs”? Weird.
Second off, Lady Gaga as Joe Calderon…is very boring…and not very “daring”. Crossdressing? We’ve seen it so many times before. Plus, when you have to spend the first 45 seconds of your performance explaining to your audience that “I’m a guy, got that, I’m a guy”, you’ve missed the boat. I pined for her to arrive in an egg again (and I thought that was annoying), but Joe Calderon needs to go. Why do celebs do this? I’m very popular…time to develop an alter ego. It doesn’t work (see Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines).
Also, Lady Gaga, you’re becoming the Julia Roberts of awards shows…you don’t have to be the focal point of every moment, and stop stealing everyone else’s moment. When Britney Spears won the “lifetime achievement award” (yes, that’s right)…Gaga would not stop trying for a kiss with Britney. Surprisingly, and smartly, Britney refused, but Gaga wouldn’t let it go, and then kept hogging the mic. Let it go Gaga, let it go.
Okay, why are people cheering for Chris Brown? He’s a scumbag…a woman-beating scumbag, yet, you would never have known it last night. Hey Chris, you’re awful…you can’t even lip-sync well…if you’re going to lip-sync, at least pretend to know the words? Oh, look, you have a wire act…omg, you’re flying through the air…and this is “amazing”? Hardly, it’s like watching the new “Spiderman” Broadway show…or if you’re old enough, Mary Martin flying across the stage as Peter Pan. Let’s see…Kanye West & Jay-Z…both good friends with Rihanna…but there they were, cheering on Chris Brown. Ridiculous. Hey Chris, thanks for beating up my friend!
Adele…you are AWESOME. A singer with a voice? On MTV? I was shocked too!
Oh, and how did MTV find a way to make a trio of Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and Seth Rogen incredibly not funny?
I turned it off once…well, I don’t even remember, my brain slowly began to decompose into a pile of mush, and it slowly oozed out my ear. Terrrrrrrrrible.
Tomorrow marks another very, very important anniversary. It’s the 20 year anniversary of Pearl Jam releasing the greatest album of all-time “Ten”!!
This was a life-changing moment in my life…as for the first time, I genuinely began having a favorite band. I would jump around from Poison, Motley Crue, etc…but when Pearl Jam arrived, that was it. I think my favorite movie has changed over a dozen times in my life…my favorite book? Always changing. However, favorite band…it’s been Pearl Jam ever since that day 20 years ago.
“Ten” is the greatest album ever. Every song (well, maybe not “Oceans”) is AWESOME. I could and have listened to this album over and over and over again. I don’t know if a cassette tape can burn out, but I put it to the test.
Ten gave me my all-time favorite song…”Alive”. Holy moley guacamole, I love this song. I will lose my mind when I hear this song. When my son is unhappy, I sing him this song to try and calm him down…which never works, because I hit McCready’s guitar solo, and instantly have to start banging my head, which isn’t the best way to rock a kid to sleep, ha ha.
I was still in full-scale “wearing basketball jersey” modes at this time…it wasn’t until the “Vs.” album when I started going all flannel. I remember a school buddy of mine having a Pearl Jam hat, and everyday I contemplated stealing it…never did though.
The Pearl Jam “Stick-Figure” logo? Yes, I want that as a tattoo.
20 years of Pearl Jam…it’s astounds me that I was 13 when I first heard Ten…and here I am at 33, still with the same love & passion for it. Thank you Pearl Jam.
Of course, here’s the list…a list that I loved coming up with…
My Top 50 Pearl Jam Songs
50. Red Mosquito
49 - Wishlist
48 - Smile
47 - MFC
46 - F’n Up
45 - Yellow Ledbetter
44 - Grievance
43 - State of Love & Trust
42 - Hail Hail
41 - Go
40 - Mankind
39 - Pilate
38 - In Hiding
37 - Rearview Mirror
36 - Thumbing My Way
35 - In My Tree
34 - Life Wasted
33 - Garden
32 - World Wide Suicide
31 - The Fixer
30 - WMA/Blood (on the Vs. cassette, they would play back to back when the cassette flipped)
4 years ago, you said “I Do” to me. That was most AWESOME, ha ha. I love you with all my heart sweetheart. Thank you for being the world’s best wife, and the world’s best mama. Dexter and I (and baby on the way) are all very lucky to have you. Thank you for picking me. May I interest you in a romantic night out? Perhaps…El Rodeo? Stop it, I know, I spoil ya.
Hands down…my favorite thing at the Fair…the lemonade/lemon shake-ups. They are AWESOME. I could, and have, guzzle down at least 6 of those in a 3 hour span. No problem. I am glad I have about 365 days for my sour stomach to recover though.
State Fair Take-Out
So yesterday, I was out at the Fair broadcasting live, but Jennifer gave me the hints that she would like for me to bring something back from the Fair for her. How did I know of this hitn? She put tupperware in my bag that I was taking out there. Yes, tupperware. I traveled home with a pork chop-on-a-stick in a Tupperware container…while holding some deep-fried Oreos, and holding a giant Lemonade in the other hand.
By the way, when you get on the shuttle, and you’re holding all that food…people look at you and start drooling. Then, when the shuttle gets stuck behind a train for 25 minutes, people begin giving you offers for the food. The comeback for that was…hey, my wife is nearly 6 months pregnant…everyone immediately backed off. Haha!
World Record Holder
Yes, yes I am. I was asked to join the “Stop, Drop, and Roll” record breaking yesterday afternoon at the Fair. That was great. Well done to us…take that Indiana (or it might have been Michigan that had previously set it). Wherever it was…take that, you can’t beat us here in Iowa.
Speaking of Iowa
I came home…and Jennifer had purchased Dexter a brand new Marvin McNutt Hawkeye jersey. AWESOME! (of course, now I want one, ha ha).
For the past 4 days, I’ve had this weird, achey, sore feeling on the right side of my jaw. It sucks….so finally, I caved and went to the doctor…who sent me to the dentist. My dentist is great (Dr. Rittler)…they got me in right away, and took a look. I grind/clench my teeth apparently when I sleep, so because of that, I’ve sort of flattened some of my back teeth, which may have caused some ligament damage in my jawbone. Arrgh. So, I got fitted for a brand new, supercool mouthguard. Jealous? Can you have too much Ibuprofen? I don’t care…it hurts.
Duathlon
Well, I’m doing my version. We got our bikes tuned up…so there are two bikes waiting for me over at Barr Bike…so my plan is to drive home…jog the 2 miles to Barr Bike, then ride one of the bikes home….then turn around, jog back 2 miles, and ride the other bike home. That’s my plan…my execution though may end up with me doing the first leg, but then getting into my car…driving to Barr Bike, and then jamming the other bike into my car. Yes, that sounds much better.
Cover Songs
Rolling Stone released the list of “Worst Cover Songs of All-Time”. Couldn’t agree more.
10 - William Shatner “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”
9 - Jessica Simpson “These Boots Were Made For Walkin’” - Terrible, terrible song.
8 - Avril Lavigne “Imagine” - I haven’t heard this version, but I can only assume it’s awful, and I like Avril Lavigne.
7 - Britney Spears “I Love Rock & Roll” - To be honest, I don’t think this is that bad. Her cover of the “Beat Goes On” is much, much worse.
6 - Alient Ant Farm “Smooth Criminal” - This is a great cover, doesn’t deserve to be on the list.
5 - Britney Spears “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” - Oh yeah, I forgot this one…it’s not good.
4 - Sheryl Crow “Sweet Child O’Mine” - What was Sheryl Crow even thinking?
3 - Madonna “American Pie” - This is a terrible song. Madonna should be ashamed of herself. What, you ruined enough of your own songs that you decided to ruin other people’s songs too?
2 - Limp Bizkit “Behind Blue Eyes” - Yes, Virginia, there was a time when Limp Bizkit was good…it was called 1999-2001…and I was a fan. I am dumb.
1 - Miley Cyrus “Smells Like Teen Spirit” - We posted this video a long while ago…and we all agreed, it was awful awful awful. See, there are things in this country that we can all agree on…and this is one of them.
Janet Jackson
Sunday…Janet Jackson…State Fair…Dr. Graeve, babysitting…Jennifer & I…going. Fried Butter? I’m having it. I’ve sat front row for Janet before, and I could not have been more out of place. I like Janet, but I’m not the superfan that should be sitting in the front row, ha ha.
Top 7 Janet Jackson Songs
7 . Miss You Much
6. Nasty
5. Rhythm Nation
4. Escapade
3. If
2. Again (I’m such not a guy)
1. Black Cat
Train/Maroon 5
Since they are tonight, I should probably put up a Top 5 Train/Maroon 5 List. It’s going to be a great show tonight!
My wife and I are expecting baby #2 in December…we’re very excited, and even though it was just about a year or so ago, I’ve totally forgotten about Jennifer’s pregnancy brain. She’s normally not forgetful at all…but wow…she has forgotten stuff at least twice a day for the past week…and I’m not good at remembering things either, so that’s not good.
What did we both forget? Oh, nothing important…it wasn’t like it was Dexter’s 1 year doctor appointment or anything…oh wait…darn it. (We made it, just 20 minutes late).
I also forgot about how many times a pregnant wife will go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Wowzers.
Sean Penn
I was going to to do a Top 5 Sean Penn list (it’s his birthday today), but seriously, I don’t know if I really like the guy…and I’ve never seen Mystic River…Milk was AWESOME…Fast Times at Ridgemont High is, of course, excellent…but after that, I have nothing.
I’m forced to like Sean Penn because he is friends with Eddie Vedder.
Happy Belated Deathday to Elvis
Yesterday marked the death (the death, not birthday, ahem, political candidates) of Elvis. My Top 10 Elvis Songs
10. Are You Lonesome Tonight
9. Don’t Be Cruel
8. Love Me Tender
7. A Little Less Conversation
6. All Shook Up
5. Suspicious Minds
4. Heartbreak Hotel
3. Hound Dog
2. Can’t Help Falling in Love
1. Viva Las Vegas
Hilarious…
By the way, let’s remember one important thing…the death anniversary of a celebrity is not their birthday. I had to laugh when I saw Michelle Bachmann leading a “Happy Birthday” sing-a-long for Elvis yesterday.
It was a tremendous success on Saturday. All the family members came in to celebrate the big day, and Dexter had a blast. He was all smiles, clapping for everyone, and just walking around having a great, old time! We are still opening gifts for him…we’re doing it on a day-by-day process…if it was all on one afternoon, he’d be totally overwhelmed.
He didn’t really attack his cake like we thought he would…but we think it’s because he filled up on pizza beforehand.
I’m glad it was a good birthday little SuperDude! Many, many more to come!
The Fair
We thought Dexter was going to crash hard right after the party, but he only napped for about an hour, and was up again…so we thought, hey, let’s do the Fair. My parents finally got to go to the Fair that night too…they had been wanting to for almost 10 years now (they tried 7 years ago, but then I had to go get dragged behind a van, and that sort of ruined their Fair plans, ha ha).
Dexter really seemed to like the Fair…or maybe he liked the shuttle ride to the Fair more…still not sure on that one!
Of course, Dexter, the little flirt, found State Fair Queens to pose with.
Oh, I did find the Philly Cheesesteak stand (over by the Horse Barn)….the steak/peppers/cheese were delicious, the bun was a little disappointing, but overall, very good!
Do you know what’s the best? The lemonade. The lemonade stand over near the Dairy Barn has the best…holy cow, I had two cups in about 15 minutes on Saturday night. Honey in lemonade? Darn good!
Bachelor Pad
Why am I watching this garbage? Why am I enjoying it? Arrgh.
Why won’t Kasey and Vienna go away? I didn’t see the previous seasons that they were on, but holy cow, they might be the most annoying couple on the planet. Vienna is pure awfulness…last night, she actually blamed the producers for “doing this to her again”. Loved that Chris Harrison said, “Well, no one is keeping you here, and there are two doors, I’ll call you a cab if you like.” Vienna, take your new nose, and go home. I’m sure Jake was a big jerk…but holy cow, how could anyone stand being near Vienna for more than 30 seconds?
What’s with Kasey’s whole “protecting” thing? You’re a pathetic loser.
Although it was completely staged, Ames leaving with Jackie last night was pretty sweet. My wife and I totally saw it coming (as did everyone else), but Ames pulled it off well. Kind of bummed that Ames left…was rooting for him.
Skinny Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill…you know, the actor from “Superbad”, and “Get Him to the Greek”? Anyways…he’s skinny now…go look at a tabloid website, see skinny Jonah Hill. It’s rather freaky.
Movie Reviews
Machete - This movie on the surface looks terrible…but nay, nay…it is, in fact, quite AWESOME. A nice throwback to the retro-70s movies, with the grainy footage, cheesy-yet-fantastic bloody special effects, and terrible dialogue. Depsite all this, this movie is pure fun. Danny Trejo is fantastic as Machete…Lindsay Lohan runs around topless the entire time…plus, Steven Seagal returns to stardom (or at least gets to wherever he was before…if he ever was anywhere before). Grade: B+.
Final Destination 4 - I enjoy these movies, I think the death sequences are so well-thought out and creative. However, Final Destination 4 was incredibly dumb. The race track scene was boring. Plus, on a normal 2-D TV, the 3-D “effects” that were still included just made the movie look cheesy, and was annoying. Grade: D-.
Enough With the 3-D
Dear Hollywood,
Enough with the 3-D. It stinks. Boooooooooooooooo.
I have a couple of friends who are very much into the 48 Hour Film Project, and the more I hear from them aboutit, the cooler and cooler it sounds. They do everything a movie eneds…in just 48 hours. Writing…shooting…editing it…and even scoring it. Are you kidding me? Doesn’t this take Hollywood like 48 weeks to do…yet, we can do it in 48 hours? That’s AWESOME.
What a great way for an aspiring filmmaker to get a foothold on it all…48 hours…that’s a tight deadline. If you’re the director, I can imagine that’s a sleepless weekend. I saw my friend after that weekend, and he was a bit ragged-lookin’, but was incredibly proud of what he had just done…no kiddin’, I’d be too!
Plus, it’s not even like the director can over prepare for the film festival…that Firday night, they are assigned a character, a prop, a line of dialogue, and genre…all to include in their film. That takes a creativity like no other.
Great event…we should all get out to there to support these filmmakers.
IN fact…their “Best of City Screening & Awards Celebration” is Thursday night at the Fleur Cinema. You can walk the Red Carpet…see the Top 12 films of 2011, and of course, the awards ceremony. Tickets are $17.50 at midwestix.com or at the Fleur Cinema Box Office.
You know what, though, I have 3 pairs of tickets to giveaway to the “Screening & Awards”. Email me at producerkurt@star1025.com, and you could win a pair of tickets!
Plus, if you’re thinking, I”m busy in the 18th, don’t worry, there is an “Best of City Encore” on August 25th…and I have tickets to giveaway to that too….if you can make it and want to go, email me! Woot woot! AWESOME. Congrats to all the filmmakers!
Sugarland
That is absolutely terrifying…frightening. What a terrible, terrible accident.
The Fair
I’ll get more into the Fair tomorrow (I’ll get into more of the weekend tomorrow…as Dexter celebrated his first birthday party…plus, he went to the Fair!)
Since they were here on Saturday night, it’s only fitting to do a Def Leppard Top 10 list
