From Kurt…

 

The Iceman -

You know how we’ve seen about 5 stories this year on the news about somebody who runs out to his car to grab a pack of smokes, only to lock himself out of the house, and he freezes (and nearly dies). Take out the “smokes” part, and I nearly made the news yesterday.

 

I was going to run out to Lowes to get some paint for our kitchen…and on my way out, I grab my Ipod, my wallet, my cellphone, the garage door opener, a kitchen cabinet door (to match), and the garbage. What did I not pick up? My keys.

 

I open the garage door (from inside the house, thus leaving the opener inside the house). I close the door behind me. I have the initial thought…did I grab my keys? I’m sure I did. I walk to the garage, and throw out the garbage…I press the button inside the garage door to close the garage. I walk back to the house, locked…oh crap. I immediately look back and see the garage door closing…I make a mad dash for it, and actually dive and slide on the ground…outstretching my arm…the garage door senses my arm, stops closing, and re-opens.

 

I locked myself out…I have my jacket…a stocking cap…but no gloves. Arrrrgh.

 

It’s about 12:35…Jennifer normally comes home for lunch around 1:15. I call her….”Can you come home early for lunch?” Jennifer sounds surprised, as if thinking I have prepared something special for her…but no…she just married an idiot. She says she’ll be home in like 10-15 minutes, and she will hurry.

 

I set up in the garage…I close the garage door to block the wind…and then I sit in a tailgating chair, and I cover myself in painting tarps. It’s not warm….in fact, very very very cold. My hands are frozen…and I’m just sitting there, freezing. I didn’t even bring my earbuds, so I can’t listen to my Ipod. I’m just sitting like an idiot…freezing my butt off…waiting for death…imagining that I will leave a beautiful, frozen corpse.

 

About 12 minutes go by, and I hear Jennifer’s car pull up…I open the garage door…she is just standing there, laughing at me. Rightfully so…I look ridiculous.

 

My fingers and toes are frozen…and as I lower my coat from my mouth/nose area…Jennifer says “You are covered in snot”. She’s a lucky gal, ain’t she?

 

Thank you to Jennifer for saving my life!

 

NOTE: I texted Ken, Colleen, Mr. Allen, and my friend Bartine to let them know how dumb I am…Ken asked “If I needed any help”. After I texted them again to let them know that Jennifer saved my life…Ken texted back “Look who’s ready for fatherhood!” No kidding…I am dumb.

 

Painting -

Speaking of painting…no matter what they tell you…you can’t match paint. It just doesn’t happen. It’s incredibly frustrating.

 

Fantastic Video -

Remember GLOW? The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling? It used to be on Saturday nights…and it was AWESOME (as in 80s AWESOME). Check out the “Housewives”. Wow.

 

 

 

Weekend -

This weekend, Jennifer and I are going to “de-clutter” the house. We have to de-personalize the house to get it ready for selling. Without all our frames/photos, the house is going to feel empty…but it’s for a good cause.

 

 

Sunday, though, is Jennifer and I’s big day. Thanks to my friend, and softball shortstop extraordinaire, BJ…we have the entire 4th season of Dexter on DVD. We’re going to watch all 12 episodes straight thru on Sunday. It’ll be an interesting day…Jennifer gets very stressed over Dexter. It is a stressful show, that’s for sure…but it’s AWESOME!

 

Road Trip -

By the way, I know I commented on the latest comedy album by Aziz Ansari on Wednesday’s blog. If you are doing any road trip…go get this album. You will roll with laughter, and your drive will go by much more quickly (Note: Not good for a family trip though).

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

AWESOME is as AWESOME does!

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