From Kurt…

 

Paranormal Activity -

Paranormal Activity came out on DVD yesterday….and 4:08am while on the way to work, I stopped by the Redbox and rented it. Now normally, I watch scary movies in the daytime…hey, it just makes sense, okay? ha ha. This one though, I was going to brave at night with my wife. At least she’d be there to protect me…and for me to blame any girlish screams on.

 

It was definitely a creepy movie….and there were plenty of moments where I just mumbled “What…the…(bad word)”. The night-time scenes just make your skin crawl…and who knew standing could be so eerie? (You’ll see what I’m talking about…it’s just unsettling). I was completely engrossed in the movie…except for the end…the last 8 seconds I just couldn’t believe. They had done so well making whatever was happening seem so creepy…and they just went a bit too over-the-top at the end.

 

 

 

The point is…I survived….and having a demon (or whatever it was) would definitely suck…and I’m sure it would really hurt the value of your home.

 

Did I sleep well last night? No…but it wasn’t due to me being scared…it was due to my cat Sammy continuing to try and push his way next to my leg. He’s a body heat thief.

 

At only 90 minutes long, the movie is quick…and it will definitely make yoru skin crawl. Go…be brave…watch it.

 

My Apologies to Some Non-Dead Celebs -

Upon further review…my Decade of Death was somewhat inaccurate. My apologies to Ben Savage and Jaime King for including you…you are not dead. Congratulations. I could have sworn Jaime King had passed tragically a year ago…but that wouldn’t have been right considering in October my wife and I saw her in that remake of “My Bloody Valentine”. D’oh.

 

 

 

So, again…in conclusion…Jaime King….Ben Savage…not dead. Disco? Still dead.

 

Holiday Hangover Cures -

This was on the Today Show yesterday…with Meredith Viera. Meredith Viera…a once respected newswoman…now interviewing their “Health & Nutrition Expert” on how to cure a hangover on New Years! First of all…there is nothing healthy or nutritious about a hangover. Surely, the Today Show has an “Alcohol Expert”. I’m sure my nemesis Dr. Sanjay Gupta was talking about it on CNN too.

 

 

 

So, direct from the Today Show…in case you don’t know how to cure a hangover…they offer these tips…

 

1. Eat - Wow…well done. No kidding? I should eat something to soak up the gallons of beer I’ve consumed? What next, drink water?

 

2. Drink Water - Well, I asked a stupid question, so of course, I get the stupid answer. Drinking water? Nooooo. Truly, you’ve earned your “expert” status.

 

3. Have a Mocktail - And have a lousy time. Enjoy your Shirley Temple. First of all, this shouldn’t be on the list of “How to Cure a Hangover”. If you’re not drinking alcohol], you won’t have a hangover…there’s nothing to cure. Although, if you have 8 Sour & Sours, you will have a stomach-ache. PS. I hate the word “Mocktail”…i have since Drake, when this annoying girl who always came to our parties and never drank would always be coming up to us asking “Where can I find a mocktail”? Her name was Carrie, no one liked her…but it’s a fraternity house, not a bar. We have beer…beer…Captain’s Morgans….and a broken pop machine. Your choice.

 

 

4. Dark Colored Drinks Cause Headaches - Where does Captain Morgan’s fall on that list? It’s kind of dark, but not really…and sometimes I get hungover from it, and sometimes I don’t. By the way, I know I’ve also received headaches from drinking vodka, Goldschlager, and white wine. I’m sure dark colored drinks cause headaches…but so do clear ones.

 

Those are the 4 tips from the NBC News “Expert”. Wow. Thank you. How do I become an expert for these shows. I know a little about a lot…I think that qualifies. Ridiculous.

 

How do I relieve my hangover? I’m a shower guy. I don’t know what my deal is…my friends will make fun of this whenever I crash at their place for a weekend. I will take 3-5 showers that morning. For some reason, I think that all the water will help hydrate me…I know that’s dumb. So showers…many showers…and Tylenol…and some Head-On. For food, I will eat chips…many many Doritos.

 

Green Man Attacks -

If you watch “Always Sunny in Philadelphia”…you know of “Green Man”. Well, there was a Green Man sighting at a hockey game over the weekend…hilarious…

 

 

A Horrible New Development -

Jennifer has brought it to my attention that 5 of the past 7 nights, she’s had to wake me up because I was snoring. SNORING!? What? I’ve never snored. She says it’s not really snoring, but some really heavy breathing/mumbling/grunting. What’s that about? Why is this happening? Dr. Graeve, why is this happening? I am not proud of this. I used a “Breathe Right” strip last night..I think it worked…but now the top of my nose feels weird.

 

 

Worst Thing Ever -

Unfortunately, I don’t remember the brand name of this product…we threw it away too fast after trying to eat this….it was a frozen lobster bisque. We found it in the frozen soup section of the freezer. Holy crap, it was awful. Jennifer took one little sip…and immediately started gagging and walked around with her tongue hanging out of her mouth until she could find something to wash out that awful flavor.

 

We…okay…I…spent $6 on this, so I was going to give it my best effort…I’m a garbage disposal, I eat just about anything…but this was my Everest. I made myself a bowl…and began…I got through 4 spoonfuls before giving up…and frantically began a search for something to wash out my mouth. It was awful…it had a huge fishy taste to it…the lobster had like sand in it or something…it was gritty, and that’s not good. Oh, I just nearly threw up in my mouth thinking about it.

 

You know it’s bad when instead of just throwing it away, I poured the leftovers into a ziplock bag to help the smell from leaking out…ugh. Awful. If I have the intestinal fortitude, I will try to dig through the trash to see what brand it was. (wow, sounds like a fun day for Kurt…trash-digging, whoo hoo!) Until then…let me throw this out there…stay away from all store-bought lobster bisques. It’s not worth it.

 
Chicago Blackhawks -

I don’t get to see them as much as I would like…I only get to catch them when they play on Vs. They lost last night, but wow…they’re AWESOME this year. Hoisting the Stanley Cup this year could be a definite possiblity.

 

AWESOME is as AWESOME does!

 

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