February 8th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
The Super Bowl -
What are we going to do without football for the next 5 months? That just hit me this morning. Is it time for the NFL Draft yet? Let’s go!
Congrats to the Saints…well done. Jennifer wasn’t too happy though…apparently, all Vikings fans hate the Saints…I can understand why…they kept taking the ball away from Favre and Adrian Peterson…how mean of them. Ha ha!
I really don’t have many thoughts on the game…except for the fact almost all my predictions were untrue. Oh well, I still have the Orange Bowl to fall back on.
Pregame -
The pregame…which began on Friday, I believe. Ridiculous.
- Chris Daughtry has hair now? We tuned in just in time to hear him perform during the pre-game festivities…and he has hair now? What? I don’t even think he’s really bald! This is an outrage.
- So…we’re going to predict the winner of the Super Bowl based on which golf ball Phil Mickelson can drive the furthest? I’m sure they wanted Tiger Woods for this…but umm…he’s in sex rehab…or out of sex rehab. Tiger is on the prowl!
- Carrie Underwood - Sounded great…looked great…the outfit was a little strange though. It was like “Michael Jackson Meets Las Vegas” or something.
Commercials -
Overall, I give them a C-…there were three main trends -
1) Men Don’t Wear Pants - There were like 5 commercials of men without pants.
2) Groundhogs - There were like 4-5 commercials featuring (or based on) a groundhog. Very odd. America, we love Groundhogs…apparently.
3) Men Are Dumb - But we are, right?
Lebron v. Dwight Howard McDonalds Commercial - I really liked this take on the old Jordan v. Bird commercial. Well done…it could have done without Larry Bird at the end….they should have used MJ.
Betty White Snickers Commercial - Hilarious…but it wasn’t even Betty White that I thought was great…it was Abe Vigoda at the end. Anyone under the age of 25 didn’t even know who Abe Vigoda was…fantastic.
Boostmobile Shuffle - AWESOME! Jim McMahon…back…and on a Rascal! Woot Woot! A well-done remake of the Super Bowl Shuffle. This might be in my Top 3 of commercials from yesterday.
Doritos “Hands Off” Commercial - Sharp-tongued kids are always funny.
The Simpsons Coke Commercial - What a disappointment….60 seconds of The Simpsons has to be good right? Nope…it was just Burns walking around. I don’t even remember seeing Homer in the commercial. They missed a great opportunity here. Seriously? The punch line is Milhouse saying “Excuse me Coke?” Boooo.
GoDaddy.Com - Awful…awful…awful. Seriously…who’s going to the website to see the unrated commercial? I can only imagine that it’s the South…it has to be rednecks right? These commercials aren’t even the slightest bit enjoyable. Shame on Danica Patrick…she spends all this time talking about how she doesn’t feel she’s treated the same as men in the world of sports…well, it’s because you do these trashy commercials. Seriously…these are awful. Are GoDaddy.com commercials too hot for TV? That’s what they asked last night…and the answer is no…no they are not. They’re not hot at all.
Auto-Tuned Bud Light - With T-Pain at the end? Hilarious. Everyone will say the word “guacamole” like that from now on.
I don’t know what commercial it was…but did we just see a man help deliver a baby tiger? Wow.
The Google Commercial - Well done. This is in my Top 3 of commercials as well. Google nailed itself…great job.
Leno/Oprah/Letterman - Hilarious…and a great idea for both of them.
Casual Day - No pants. Whatever
Followed By “I Wear No Pants” - Two commercials featuring men without pants. Really, whatever. I will take the free pants though.
Dove For Men - Catchy song. I liked it.
Dodge Charger - Giving my afinity for hating car commercials…I must admit…this might be one of my favorites this year. It helps that “Dexter” is the voiceover guy…but they nailed exactly all the things we guys do for you ladies. Hold the lip balm, etc. I found it very very funny.
Flo TV - I don’t know what this is really…but it looks AWESOME!!!
Megan Fox - I’m not a huge fan of hers, but that commercial was hilarious.
Homeaway.Com - I will never go to this website, but if you have the Griswalds in the commercial. I will love it…”No sir, the bottled water was complimentary…meaning it complimented the rest of the room.”
Tim Tebow Commercial - This is the one that had all the controversy of pro-life/pro-choice…had I not heard of the controversy, I wouldn’t ever have even known what this commercial was about.
Ken, Colleen, and I Spend Way Too Much Time Together This Weekend -
Friday -
Ken and I were part of the 2nd intermission entertainment at the Bucs game…Colleen was supposed to join us, but due to the bad weather, she had to stay behind and wait for her mom and sister to make it.
All Ken and I worried about Friday morning was falling on the ice and looking like an idiot. However, Ken beat me to the punch…he fell on the ice in the parking lot on the way to the Bucs Arena. I pulled up in the parking lot, and I see Ken dusting himself off…I had no idea that he had just fallen. He banged up his arm pretty good. The irony here is that in the past month or so, I haven’t seen Ken go anywhere outside without his Yak -Trax on…but not tonight…not on the night where he knows for sure he’ll be walking on the ice.
I felt bad…I did laugh at Ken…that wasn’t nice…and even to rub it in….he buys ME a beer at the game. I should have bought him the beer as an apology.
Saturday afternoon -
Colleen’s bridal dress shopping…wow..that’s all I can say. I can’t say anymore…you’ll hear it all on Wedding Wednesdays. We’ll have audio…pictures…and a video too. Ken and I were the only two guys at the Bridal Connection in Ankeny. While Ken and I were there, Coll tried on 10 dresses. It was exhausting…but we had a lot of fun. Ken and I were ruthless in making fun of Colleen…aren’t we such nice guys? Ha ha.
Saturday Evening -
Colleen’s Engagement Party was a BLAST! Here’s a pic of Colleen and Jennfier at Raccoon River Brewery during the festivities.
You might be wondering…what is Jennifer drinking? It’s called a “Safe Sex on the Beach”. She really liked it. Some of these non-alcoholic drinks have hilarious names.
We all had a good time…just the wedding party and b0th families….we all shared some very embarrassing stories of both Colleen and Justin (well, ones that we could tell with parents present, ha ha). I told everyone about how Colleen has tried to learn magic…belly dancing…and tap dancing….and that she ended up on the band “Faster Pussycat”’s tour bus (they were an 80s hair metal band…their most notable song was probably “House of Pain”…which is a terrific song).
This next picture is ridiculous…and a little “R” rated…We were joking about the show, and we are usually very self-deprecating. At this point, Justin tells us that “We piss excellence”. We all belly-laughed, and decided that we need to have a new billboard that says this…well, okay, maybe not a billboard…but we definitely wanted to see what the picture would look like. Behold…Big Ken, Colleen, and Kurt…pissing excellence, ha ha.
Thanks to Colleen’s mom…and Justin’s mom & dad for picking up the bar and dinner tab (unless it was Colleen and Justin that did it…in that case, thank you to you two as well).
Frozen -
This is why I don’t like skiing…well, this and the fact that I’m a HORRIBLE skiier.
The Judas Strain -
I just finished “The Judas Strain” by James Rollins…and it was AWESOME. While I enjoyed his most recent book “Altar of Eden”, it was too complicated for me…I don’t understand how the brain works and all that stuff….”The Judas Strain” was great…and I could understand it. There’s a possible-world-ending virus loose…which is tied in with Marco Polo’s final adventures…codes hidden in the language of angels? It was great…I couldn’t put it down.
I just started another book….Matthew Reilly’s “Area 7″…I’m about 1/3 done, and I’m really, really enjoying it.
Birthday -
Happy birthday to my sister Jamie, she’s 28 today!
February 5th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
Super Bowl Prediction -
Since I was so accurate about the Orange Bowl, and I received many emails of thanks from non-football fans who used my predictions as their own…let me try my hand at the Super Bowl.
1 - Final Score - Saints 30, Colts 24.
2. Super Bowl MVP - Saints running back Pierre Thomas…however, if an MVP would ever go to a player from the losing team, it would go to Dallas Clark. I have a gut feeling Dallas Clark will have 80 yards and 2 TDs…Pierre Thomas will have 110-120 yards rushing, and 2 TDs as well (one will be a receiving TD).
3. Colts Defensive End Dwight Freeney will play, and will be effective. He will have 1.5 sacks.
4. Peyton Manning will be intercepted twice.
5. Reggie Bush will fumble once.
6. Haitian-born Colts wide receiver Pierre Garcon will get a lot of attention. So much so, that everytime he is mentioned, Haiti will also be mentioned. He will score a TD.
7. Finally, the best play of the night will be by Dallas Clark. He will turn a simple 10 yard pass play into a 40+ yard TD.
Predictions for Non-Football Related Activities -
1. Vegas has the over/under at 1:42 of Carrie Underwood singing the National Anthem. I think it will be under. I will go 1:37. Also, I predict she will look fantastic.
2. The Who will be outstanding at halftime…they will be three songs, maybe four…if they do three…I will go
a) Won’t Get Fooled Again
b) My Generation
c) Baba O’Riley
If they add a fourth song… I think that they will add “Pinball Wizard“, and it will be in between My Generation and Baba O’Riley. If they do do Pinball Wizard, they will make the entire field look like a giant pinball machine.
Also, folks under the age of 19 will find The Who boring…if so, teach them about musical history…The Who are AWESOME (They performed a tremendous show when they were at the Wells Fargo Arena)
3) They will show Kim Kardashian only once…hopefully only once.
4) They will show Eli Manning and/or Archie Manning 8 times.
5) Due to buffalo chicken dip, countless bowls of chili, and other finger foods…I will have horrible gas by the start of the 3rd quarter. (You can take this one to the bank).
Super Bowl Commercials -
Hopefully, we will have a good crop of Super Bowl commercials this year. The past few years, I feel, have been disappointing. There are too many commercials that just blend all together…we need that one AWESOME commercial that everyone remembers.
Here are Super Bowl Commercials, That I Feel…Suck.
Any Car Commercial - These are boring. I’m not a car guy…but I don’t need 30 seconds of a car just driving on the road with a voiceover guy telling me “how smooth the ride is”. Do you think there will be any Toyota commercials this year? Yikes.
GoDaddy.Com - Take away my guy card, I don’t care…these commercials are stupid. I’ve never gone to the “un-rated” commercial that they promote online…but I”m guessing that if Danica Patrick really showed boobage in the commercial, that they would have been picked up by other media outlets by now. They’re horribly acted…the girls in the commercial are dumb…well, Danica Patrick probably isn’t dumb…but they make her look dumb in these. If you have to use that much sexual innuendo to make people visit your website…well then, your website isn’t that good. By the way, shameless plug, check out “Ken and Colleen’s Hunk of the Day” every morning at Star1025.com! ha ha.
The Budweiser Horses - I’m tired of them…until they start speaking at least. They’re just so darn cute, right? Blech. Every time they air, the girls in the room watching the game all seem to melt…oh, look it’s the story of a pony that got to pull the cart. Oh look, it’s a dalmation that wants to ride on the cart…ugh. I know I’m in the minority here…but I depise this run of commercials.
Babies Talking - Is this the E*Trade one? I’m tired of the baby talking. Why is the other baby singing “Broken Wings”…it doesn’t even make sense. When the baby had the clown…and when the baby puked…I admit, I laughed. Funny. The one with the golfing buddy though is awful…golfers that I know just think it’s hilarious that the baby called the other golfer “Shank-o-saurus”…that was dumb…I didn’t even crack a smile. This year, though, I’m sure the baby will be back…tell us all about his 401 (k) or his IRA. Booooo.
Best Super Bowl Commercials -
These are my favorite commercials ever. Now, I want to preface this with this notion…I didn’t watch the Super Bowl in 1984 or back in the 70s (I was “six” and “not born” at those times respectively), so I never watched the famous Apple Computer one…or the Mean Joe Green Coke commercial one live. I’m making this list with the reaction to commercials that I have seen live during the Super Bowl.
The FedEx Carrier Pigeons - Remember the giant pigeons? Hilarious…oh, you will see a theme develop real quick.
Any Commercial With Talking Animals - See, if the Budweiser Clydesdales talked…then we’d be on to something here! Get those horses talkin’! Seriously, though, any commercial that has an animal talk…winner winner chicken dinner!
Any Commercial With Monkeys - See the pattern…except for the Clydesdales…if you have an animal doing something ridiculous, I’m totally on board. Monkeys are always funny.
The Monster.com “When I Grow Up” Commercial - This was hilarious…all those little kids telling us their remedial employment dreams. “I want to excel towards middle management”. Hilarious.
Michael Jordan v. Larry Bird McDonalds Commercial - “Nothing But Net”…seriously, is MJ wearing Zubaz pants in that commercial. Pure early 90s AWESOMEness!
But the #1 commercial of the Super Bowl…nay, of All-Time…
and then there was the remake a few years back…still good.
The Cindy Crawford Pepsi Commercial…Ohhhh snap. Could women be hotter than that? Turns out…yes…my wife puts her to shame. Love you sweetheart. Cindy Crawford could sell just about anything while wearing the white tanktop and the jean shorts…she could sell me used monkey dung…that is, if it were at a reasonable price.
More Super Bowl -
Hopefully, the game will live up to it’s name. I’m totally on-board with the folks that want to move the game to Saturday…staying up late on Sunday night destroys me for the rest of the week. We’re heading over to our friends’ Jim & Molly’s house for the game…and that should be fun. My friends and I will bet on absolutely everything possible. I think I won $10 last year because Bruce Springsteen opened his set with “Born to Run”….c’mon “Won’t Get Fooled Again”…big money, big money.
This Weekend -
This weekend is going to be very interesting. Tomorrow, Ken and I are meeting up with Colleen to help her pick out a wedding dress….and then Colleen’s engagement party is tomorrow night as well.
Joining Ken and myself to pick out wedding dresses will be Colleen’s mom, and I think her sister as well. Many fun stories will be told at Colleen’s expense. We will take photos…and maybe video record the ordeal…non-stop hilarity may ensue. Ken and I are planning on drinking through most of the fittings…is that we call this…a fitting? I don’t even know.
Everyone have a great weekend as well…I look forward to us all being tired Monday morning after the Super Bowl!
February 3rd, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
This Blog Posting Will Be Very In Depth -
This is a ridiculous blog post…why? Our kitchen and bathroom are being painted right now…so I have much much time to kill (no nap for Kurt today). NOTE: The fine folks of Peterson Painting are doing the painting, and they are doing a great job. I highly recommend them…(NOTE #2: I am receiving no discount or promotional plug for this…I just think they do excellent work).
My Favorite, Biggest One Hit Wonders From the 90s -
All of our playlists are ridiculous…and we all seem to have at least 4 songs on our playlist that are from bands from the 90s that were never heard of again…through a series of many Google searches, I offer you the My Favorite Top 50 One Hit Wonders of the 90s…plus some very revealing stories of my life.
50. Are You Jimmy Ray - Jimmy Ray - Yes, Jimmy Ray…are you Jimmy Ray? Who was Jimmy Ray? Why did I buy this cassette single? How I did not buy the entire album? I’m sure it was fantastic.
49. Macarena - Los Del Rios - I have to include it on the list…but this was an awful song. I hated the dance too…that being said, it will be a dancefloor favorite at Colleen’s wedding. Holla!
48. LoveFool - Cardigans - They were like the Ace of Base of the late 90s…only with 2 less hits…I give Ace of Base 3 hits…All That She Wants, The Sign…and there’s another that I can’t remember. The Cardigans just couldn’t match that.
47. Bitch - Meredith Brooks - I thought she had two songs…I thought she sang “Mother Mother” too…but was Tracy Bonham. I saw one of them in concert opening for Everclear…I still don’t know which one it was. Sorority girls loved to sing this song…it was highly annoying.
46. Jump Jive N’ Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra - And the swing music genre begins…and dies. Big Dad Voodoo Daddy was much better…but they didn’t have the necessary 1 hit needed to be on this list.
45. Fade Into You - Mazzy Star - One of the most depressing sounding songs of all-time…but it was good. Whatever happened to them? I guess I could write that for every artist on this group.
44. Missing - Everything But The Girl - I HATED this song. We played this song every single night at our parties in NardTown at the Theta Chi House (Nardtown was the nickname to one of our bigger rooms…we enjoyed many a keg up there…Hanhfish lived up there for a few years, imagine that). This song sucked…but women danced to it…so maybe it wasn’t all that bad.
43. Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger - An sort-of Emo rock continues to emerge.
42. I Wish - Skee-Lo - He was actually a really good rapper…but once you have a novelty song like this, you’re just about done.
41. Baby I Love Your Way - Big Mountain - From one of the best soundtracks ever…the Reality Bites soundtrack. For a teenager with a love for alternative music, the Reality Bites soundtrack was perfect. I thought this was a great song…then I found out that Peter Frampton had also done it. Interesting. Who is this Peter Frampton, ha ha?
40. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia - The video made this song great. Natalie made a ragged, hooded sweatshirt look sexy. Well done. This song wore on me fast though. My sophomore year roomate, Todd, was in love with her. He played this CD at least twice a day for 3 straight months. It’d become the soundtrack to that year…full of drunkeness…and playing Twisted Metal on the original Playstation. A lot of Capn Morgans were drinken to this CD.
39. Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega - This song, as my friend Dan once proclaimed “is the future of music”. Thankfully, Dan was very very very wrong. Could you imagine if this was the future of music? We’d be listening to a lot of poop right now! This song was awful…awful, awful, awful…and it was everywhere. My favorite version of this song had to be when they remade it into a Toyota commercial…”A little bit of CAMRY, on my mind…a little bit of COROLLA, by my side”. The irony here? My friend Dan worked for Toyota of Des Moines (he actually sold me my car).
38. I Touch Myself - The Divinyls - I don’t like this song nearly as much as other people do. I’ve seen this song being listed as the #2-#5 top one hit wonder of the 90s. I don’t see it that way.
37. What’s Going On - 4 Non Blondes - And I say Hey-ay-ay…ay…ay…AY…ay..ay…ay…I said hey, what’s going on?! Incredible lyrics.
36. Steal My Sunshine - Len - This could have easily been in my Top 10. I was addicted to this song…but unfortunately so was my fraternity brother who lived in the room below me. He would pass out to this song every Friday and Saturday night…and he would leave it on repeat…it would never end. That was a rough semester of sleep.
35. One of Us - Joan Osborne - You are a fraud Joan…your nosering…was fake. That news slipped through the cracks…but I was devastated. It was what defined her image…and it was all a fraud.
34 .MmmmBop - Hanson - Was Hanson really a one-hit wonder? That’s debatable. “Where’s The Love” was a great song…so much so that I bought the CD single while I was studying in London. I regret that decision.
33. I Love You Always Forever - Donna Lewis - Near and far, closer together.
32. Closing Time - Semisonic - Wow…well done Semisonic. You found a way to capitalize on bar close. Seriously…if you were at Peggys, West End, or Library…if it was 1:45 (2:00 bar time)…this song would always come on. It was received with the same reaction that it should be with today…a chorus of boos. I remember hearing this for the first time while on my way to a Bucs hockey game with some buddies, and we were like “Oh my God (OMG had not yet been invented), this song totally gets what it’s like at the bar”. Man, we’re dumb.
31. Cotton Eyed Joe - Rednex - Techno remix…woot woot!
30. Sex & Candy - Marcy Playground - Apparently, the critics still love this song…apparently, the critics are still drunk.
29. OMC - How Bizarre - This song being as popular as it was? That was bizarre. I think Jennifer still really likes this song…but I might be wrong.
28. Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison - I bet the rest of his CD was really, really good…it’s a shame that no one ever heard it.
27. Counting Blue Cars - Dishwalla - I can’t believe how much publicity this song got…just for writing a lyric that suggested that God could be a woman. Many people have said that before…but apparently, it had not been sung quite as beautifully as when Dishwalla did it. I bought this whole CD. However, I was in a CD buying craze…I had like 7 memberships with BMG music (8 CDs for the price of 1)…My cat was signed up…I was signed up…I had signed up using my middle name…all sorts of stuff. There was a day, that I clearly remember, when I received 14 CDs all in one day. Dishwalla was one of them. I am dumb…dumb dumb dumb. NOTE: I kept up with all those BMG accounts…I never was late on a payment. Bravo to me.
26. Right Here, Right Now - Jesus Jones - Thank goodness this was a one-hit wonder…we can only handle so much Jesus Jones.
25. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve - I don’t want complaints here…I know that they were huge in Europe…but we’re not in Europe. Like Ricky Stanzi said, “If you don’t like it, leave it. America #1″. Still the best post-game comments ever.
24. I Would Walk (500 Miles) - Proclaimers I - People began hating this song…like HATING it. I still like it…I mean, not like I want to hear it every day…but like once every three months is cool.
23. No Rain - Blind Melon - They could have hit more hits…RIP Shannon Moon.
22. Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch - “Put the crack up”? What? What does that even mean? The African-American woman who belts out the “Good Vibrations” part makes this song great. The rest of it is Mark Wahlberg running around in his underwear…Jennifer just went running after him. Come back wife! ha ha!
21. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Nicki French - Just the original though…don’t give me the techno remix…and don’t add the obligatory swears to try to impersonate Old School…it’s been done. Alright, graduating 8th graders of Hawthorn Junior High…this is your song…ladies choice…I don’t remember who I danced with…but I was asked to dance. I was usually the guy that asked all the girls that were way out of my league to dance…they always said yes, to be nice…then their friends would sit down halfway through the song, and then she would say that she had to sit down too…and I was off on my own again. Man, I was a stud.
20. What Is Love - Haddaway - Night at the Roxbury…Go!
19. Show Me Love - Robyn S. - Again, another song that came from a fine album…she was actually a really good singer…it just never caught on.
18. Breakfast At Tiffanys - Deep Blue Something - I ranked this song rather high only because it’s Colleen least favorite song…ever. However, raise your hand if you’ve been to a Deep Blue Something concert in the past 3 years? Hmm…I see no hands…oh wait, there’s one…it’s Colleen’s. Ridiculous.
17. Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry - Had this song not been on every radio station in America…he might not have worn out so fast. He had talent…he has talent…I believe Eagle Eye is still alive.
16. Groove Is In The Heart - Dee-Lite - Blburruurpurpurpur…or however you type that sound effect. NOTE: The photo below is a cover of “The Very Best of Deee-Lite”…that has to be a one-sided tape, right?
15. In the Meantime - Spacehog - Raise your hand if you saw Spacehog in concert…d’oh…it’s me. Raise your hand if you saw Spacehog in concert twice….d’oh…it’s me again. My friends and I loved this song in high school…I still don’t know why. I will tell you this…I will not see them 3 times!
14. Whoomp There It Is - Tag Team - Whoomp was a great word…it was like Hanh! Growing up in Chicago, this song became even more popular when B96 did a Chicago Bulls remix, called “Bulls, There It Is”…incredibly creative. Pretty much is was this song over Gary Glitter’s Rock N’Roll Part 2. It was a great song…I still remember parts of it…”The B U Double L S, oh yes, the world’s best, from the midwest”.
13. We Like To Party - Venga Boys - We like to party…we like…we like to party. When this song came on, the fraternity party started. It happened so many times, that eventually, my friend Plagman had to be removed from social chair.
12. I’m Too Sexy - Right Said Fred - Usually this would be a Top 3 One-Hit Wonder…but not on my list. Who isn’t too sexy for their cat? I have 3 cats…does that make Jennifer and 3x more sexy? Well…for Jennifer it does…I’m a lost cause.
11. Freshman - Verve Pipe - This was a great song…and they’re done. Good job.
10. The Impression That I Get - Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Oh, I quickly bought the entire Mighty Mighty Bosstones catalog…4 CDs…and I didn’t like any song…except for this one. Good bye $40…no, I’m glad I didn’t spend that on food, that would have been silly.
9. Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn - Ma’am I am tonight…the closest I get to a gospel song.
8. Mr. Vain - Culture Club - This song is in my Top 100…it should be #1 (based on previous rankings)…but on a list of this much ridiculousness…it falls here at #8.
7. Jump Around - House of Pain - Somehow, this song has become the theme song for all Wisconsin sports…it’s not bad for the Packers game, we have a tradition of being behind the times (we like history)…but c’mon Badger fans, get with the times. You can make the argument that Everlast (the former rapper of House of Pain) had a hit with “What It’s Like”, but ah ha…that’s not 90s. I win.
6A (tie). Jump - Kris Kross - Mack Daddy…Daddy Mack…you guys are 11…you’re wearing jerseys backwards? All in. Yes, I tried wearing my basketball jerseys backwards…for one day…and was laughed at…a lot.
6B Informer - Snow - It didn’t matter that we didn’t know what he was saying…he obviously just needed your boom boom now!
5. Rump Shaker - Wreckx-N-Effect - They should come back…they’d still be huge. I would buy their next CD…all I want do is a zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom…shake your rump! How times have changed…when’s the last time you heard the word “Rump” in a song in the past 10 years?
4. Slam - Onyx - We white suburbanites thought we were so street tough because we listened to this song. Onyx was gangsta rap. Whatever happened to them? I’ll tell you….and I could not make this up. In 2003, I was watching an episode of Ricki Lake…and it was something like “Make My Dreams Come True”…this woman’s dream was to meet the lead rapper of Onyx. What?! Sure enough, he surprised her on stage…and she went BANANAS! Absolutely insane. It was AWESOME!
3. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot - It’s a proven fact…if you’re over the age of 25, you must know at least 88% of the words to this song.
2. Here Comes the Hot Steppa - Ini Kamoze - I LOVE this song. It’s fantastic…the magnetic strip in my cassette single snapped because of over-listening. I bought the “Ready to Wear” soundtrack to ensure I always had this song…that CD sucked…but I’d still pay $14 for this song…but I’m glad I only had to pay 99 cents on Itunes.
1A. (tie) Tubthumping - Chumbawumba - The all-time greatest one-hit wonder ever! This took everyone by storm. Up in our Nardtown parties, as soon as this song came out on CD, someone went and bought the single…and we played this at a party 16 times in a row…and everyone loved it. It was sophomore year…we couldn’t get enough of this song. We played it so much that the CD began to wear out…but it never did…only because one of us, it might have been Hanhfish…got sick of the song, and threw the CD out the window. I honestly think, that we had to refrain someone from diving out of the 2nd story window to catch it. People LOVED it. Well done Chumbawumba…you win.
1B . Ditty - Paperboy - One of the best rap songs…of all-time.
February 3rd, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
Lost -
How AWESOME was last night’s Lost? Absolutely crazy….my brain still hurts from it…in the best way possible. It totally blew away all my expectations…two separate realities? Or is it just one…and one isn’t a reality? What?
So much for the theory that the show ends with the plane landing at LAX….becuase, as we saw last night…the plane has already landed.
Random Thoughts….
8:05 - They’re on the plane? Nooooooo! I did not want to see this…but hey, it’s Rose! Whoo hoo! And Bernard is back from the bathroom! Rose and Bernard together…they’re great.
8:20 - What? Juliet is still alive? Of course she is…why wouldn’t you survive a hydrogen bomb explosion? She’s a fighter…for now, at least.
8:30 - Hey…Frogurt is back! Can we shoot him with a flaming arrow again?
8:45 - Almost an hour has gone by…I still have no anwers…man, this show is frustrating…I LOVE IT!
8:50ish - The Man in Black is Smokie? AWESOME!!! By the way, please, we need the name of the Man in Black…it’s way too long to type. Can we just call him Steve? That works right? The facial expression of Ben when he sees dead Locke is priceless. Ben, Jacob was right…you have a choice.
8:50ish - Juliet is dead…again. This time, though, I don’t cry. I can’t cry everytime Juliet dies.
9:05 - The Temple! We finally see the temple! And they don’t have shoes! 4 years since we saw the barefeet dragging a teddy bear through the jungle…and it finally comes full circle. This is fantastic.
9:20ish - Juliet (from the grave) “It worked”. What? What did? Arrrggghh!
9:30 - The plane lands…d’oh.
9:40 - Kate escapes…d’oh. Can we please capture her!?
9:45 - Sayid is dead? They drowned him and it didn’t work? What? Hanh?
9:55 - Man in Black “Hello, Richard, it’s good to see you out of those chains?” What? AWESOME!
10:00 - Sayid returns to life…it has to be Jacob right?
This show is fantastic…tremendous…super tremendous. I only have more questions than answers. Greatest…upcoming…season…ever.
Win a Date With Whitney Port -
What? This is a real contest? It can’t be…this has to be like the gag prize that they have on Let’s Make a Deal, right? Like, I’ll take what’s behind door #3…hoping it’s a car, and instead it’s a burro with a cart of hay….except it’s Whitney Port with a cart of hay.
A date with LC could be a prize…just because you could sustain a conversation with her regarding all of her idiot boyfriends.
A date with Audrina could be a prize…because you know you’re going to get some later on.
Even a date with Heidi Montag could be a prize…because you could just stare at her, and try to count the number of things wrong with her. Also, I imagine Spencer would accompany her, and you can never pass up a chance to roll up a newspaper, hit him on the head, and say “no”.
Whitney Port doesn’t bring anythign to the table. I’m sure she has a good personality though…no, wait, she’s on MTV…she lacks personality. Maybe she’ll at least pick up the check.
My New Approach -
I don’t kow if this “phenomenon” happens in your place of work…but people around our building walk around way too fast. They’re like speed walking up and down the halls (and yet, many deadlines still aren’t met). I walk slowly, so already everyone has the assumption that I will miss a deadline. If I happen to meet a deadline, everyone is very surprised (and they throw a party…with streamers, glitter, it’s a grand old time).
I don’t have a problem with the speed-walkers…except for the fact that when you’re walking down the hall, you can hear their footsteps gaining on you. I’m always ready to turn around in a “Street Cheetah” pose ready to take on my attacker.
That withstanding, here’s my biggest problem…these speedwalkers just zoom around the corners of cubicles…and they’re never looking…I’ve nearly been run down 7-8 times this month alone. I always have to jump out of the way…and I always find that it’s me who says “Excuse Me”…although, I have done nothing wrong. That changes today…I am no longer moving out of the way. If you zoom around the corner without looking…you’re going to crash into me. I’ll be ready for it…so I won’t fall…you might…and I won’t apologize…as I walk away, I will say “Seriously, slow down and look both ways”.
NOTE: The first time this happens…I guarantee you, it will be a fantabulous tale to tell on the Blog!
ITunesDay -
Nothing really yesterday…very disappointing. I saw that Lil Wayne came out with another album. I like Lil Wayne…but I don’t really know if I’m a fan of his music…I just think Lil Wayne is crazy…in a good way. A year in prison will only increase his fantastic craziness!
Bringing the World Together -
Okay, well at least Packer and Bears fans…take this Vikings fans…
Answers to Comments -
From Michelle - “One day I had my iPod on shuffle, and I went from Garth Brooks to Marky Mark to Ethel Merman. My head almost exploded” - ANSWER: You win Michelle…most random Playlist of all time!”
From Matthew - ” I will feel cheated if Lost pulls a Favre and ends up airing a new season next year too…or the year after that..or the year after that etc.” - ANSWER: Wow! That’s all I can say…well put. Well played sir!!
From Jenny - “ Hey! You would appreciate this… I burnt some songs on a CD for a friend a while back and I even named it The CD of Awesomeness. (this was before this blog ever existed!) and I put a warning on the CD to be careful of the awesomeness. - ANSWER: “AWESOME!”
From Hanhfish - “Today is nacho day at hubble - better get yo spot in line!” ANSWER: Nacho day at Hubbell at Drake was the greatest day of all-time at Drake…It started at 11am…if you weren’t there by 11:04, you might be in line for 25 minutes. Hanhfish, Irey, Ry, and I ditched class well over 5 times to make sure we made it to nacho day in time. All it was was clear container of nacho chips topped with chili, imitation cheese, sour cream, and jalapenos…it was like the nectar of the gods. See you there Hanhfish!
February 2nd, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
LOST Returns! -
Seriously…tonight, from 7-10…it’s a national holiday. We’re going to cook up some chicken/mozzarella ravioli (don’t get too impressed…we bought it at Costco…but I will boil the water), and then the greatest show in the history of TV returns in triumphant fashion.
It’s been what 6+ months? Maybe even more. Thankfully, they’ll have that recap show from 7-8 tonight. I need a little refresher. How will this season unfold? I can’t wait. Seriously, I almost called in sick today…I have Lost Fever.
This video of Lost show just how meticulous the writing has been throughout the seasons…it’s the plane crash time synched with everything else that was happening.
Things that I’m looking forward to/or not forward to in Lost this season -
1 - How it ends (obviously)
2 - Who is the Man in Black? What’s up with Jacob?
3 - The back story of Richard Alpert. He had to arrive on the Black Rock right? Why doesn’t he age?
4 - The return of Claire. She’ll play a big role I’m sure…but I’m still bitter at her for not showing the proper amount of grief when Charlie drowned. (I mean, I cried for crying out loud…Claire could have shown a little bit more emotion than “Bye Charlie”.
5 - Where are we in time?
6 - Is Juliet dead? But if she’s dead, how does she have a book club 20 years later? I guess in the words of Miles, you just have to go with it.
7 - The relationship between Miles & Hurley is AWESOME. They are the new Abbott & Costello.
8 - Dr. Chang…I must know more about you….and Desmond, where are you? (and where can I buy your sunglasses?)
9 - The death of Kate. I hope this happens…and here’s why. This show is AWESOME…yet every morning….EVERY morning, the next day on Eonline.com, they review the show, and the first comments are always “I hope Kate and Jack end up together” or “Sawyer and Kate have to be together forever”. Seriously? Who cares who Kate ends up with? It doesn’t matter…I say this kiddingly, but why must you women always ruin a good show? It always has to have a love story for you ladies, doesn’t it? Ugh, ha ha. Skate/Suliet…worst couple nickname ever by the way.
10 - And my favorite….I can’t wait for me to be right…and for Ken to be wrong….John Locke is an idiot. I must continue to believe this. He’s done nothing right. He couldn’t even hang himself correctly…and now he’s killed Jacob, well done. Okay, maybe he didn’t kill Jacob…but Locke is laying facedown on a sandy beach right now, well done. By the way, if you don’t watch Lost, none of that made sense right there.
My friend Eric at bowling last night said “Lost is dumb”. No, Eric, you are dumb. Yeah, take that. Hanh!
For Losties out there…if you haven’t heard it yet, you should check out an excellent podcast on Lost on Itunes (it’s free)…it’s called “Jay & Jack’s Lost Podcast”. It’s really good, and they dissect the entire show. I think they update it the morning after each show, and then later in the week, previewing the next week. It’s really good, and it’s a must-listen for me.
A “NOT REAL” Spoiler Alert - Tomorrow’s Blog will feature much Lost conversation as well.
Random Workout -
I must start working out again…I’m adding sympathy weight at an alarming rate (but it’s so delicious). To begin working out again, I needed to create the perfect, random playlist…and I even came up with a very creative name for this playlist…it’s called “Random Workout” (I know, that hurt my brain too!)
1 - Last Action Hero - Tesla - You know the playlist is random when you start with Tesla…and the theme song to the movie “Last Action Hero”
2. So Long - Sister Hazel
3. Nothingman - Pearl Jam - Much Pearl Jam will be on this list. Astounded? Me too.
4. Story of My Life - Social Distortion
5. The Real Me - Pearl Jam
6. Monsoon - Tokio Hotel
7. Hot Mess - Cobra Starship
8. Hey Girl - OAR
9. Got Some - Pearl Jam
10. Moth’s Wings - Passion Pit
11. He Lives In You - Lion King
12. Refugee - Tom Petty
13. Heard the World - OAR
14. Just Breathe - Pearl Jam
15. In My Tree - Pearl Jam
16. NIB - Ugly Kid Joe
17 .Love & Memories - OAR
18. Midwest Swing - St. Lunatics
19 . Turn Me On Mr. Deadman - Union Underground
20. Hands Open - Snow Patrol
21. Out of My Way - Seether
22. I Wish I Was A Baller - Skee-Lo
23. We’ll Find It - Sister Hazel
24. Tik Tok - Ke$ha
25. Elevator - Eminem
26. Fly to the Angels - Slaughter
27. Sleepyhead - Passion Pit
28. F’n Up - Pearl Jam
29. Nearly Lost You - Screaming Trees
30. Politically Correct - SR-71
31. Supersonic - Pearl Jam
32. Amongst the Waves - Pearl Jam
33. 27 Jennifers - Mike Doughty
34. Present Tense - Pearl Jam
35. Living in the End - OAR
36. Good Times - Tommy Lee
37. The Fixer - Pearl Jam
38. Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls
39. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
40. Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate
41. When You’re On Top - Wallflowers
42. Yer So Bad - Tom Petty
43. Little Secrets - Passion Pit
44. The Reeling - Passion Pit
45. Breakeven - The Script
46. Seein’ Red - Unwritten Law
47. The High Road - Broken Bells
48. How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
49. Piranha - Trippin’ Daisy
50. Get On Out - Soul Asylum
51. Whatever You Like - T.I.
52. Betterman - Pearl Jam
53. What You Know - T.I.
54. Replay - Iyaz
55. Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant
56. Molly - Sponge
57. Shoot Em Down - Twisted Sister
58. Everything Changes - Staind
59. Alive - Pearl Jam
60. Newborn Friend - Seal
61. Toes - Zac Brown Band
62. Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band (My new favorite “song of the month”)
63. True Faith - New Order
See, very random….and the problem is that I will probably listen to the fantasy baseball podcast while working out anyways. D’oh.
Groundhog’s Day -
We should get today off…this is a fantastic holiday. It makes no sense…and I love that about today. We’re watching a rodent predict the weather! It’s kind of like watching Bryan Karrick, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh snap! (I’m just kidding Bryan, I feel our friendship allows me to make that joke). No matter what the rodent predicts…the vernal equinox falls on the same day.
Screw Pennsylvania…it’s time Iowa got our own groundhog….a BIGGER groundhog, a BETTER groundhog. Are squirrels are already horribly obese…I’m sure the groundhogs here are absolutely monstrous.
What? Phil saw his shadow? Booooooooooo. Away with you Punxatawney Phil…bring on Iowa Irving!
Note to Susan Boyle -
Stephen Colbert said that while Justin Timberlake “brought sexy back”, Susan Boyle “sent it away”. I think Susan Boyle should remake “Sexy Back”…it’d be fantastic.
I Answer Questions/Comments -
From Jenny - “Oh yeah, and is there a reason you think Beyonce lip synced?” - ANSWER - I can not prove it…but I really think it was. She’s been known to lip-synch at many other awards shows too. We asked Billy Bush one time about it, and he said, “yeah, but she’s Beyonce, she can do anything”. I think it was on the Today Show one time too, when she was singing, but her lips weren’t moving.
From Michele - “I’m betting BRETT is vetoed also!” - ANSWER: This was in response to banned names for our child. Absolutely, Brett is banned.
From Nathan - “Pink performed her concert in Omaha with the ribbon acrobatics when she opened for Justin Timberlake. She is an amazing performer and a wonderful vocalist, amazing breathing control to sing like that.” - ANSWER: Hey Nathan, I was at the same show! It was a great show (NOTE: the tickets were a gift for Jennifer)
From Nathan - “Marilyn Manson? Really? Honestly? Who throws a shoe? No comparison. I can see the messed up black makeup as that but that was the typical Gaga (She doesn’t like to be referred to as ‘Lady Gaga’ she just prefers ‘Gaga’) dramatic performance. There was a story, and that was her expression. I LOVED the duet (thanks Jenny!). I’ve watched it at least half a dozen times. She is an amazing performer, artist, vocalist, and person, yes she is strange, but so was Madonna and Michael. I’m off the Gaga horse.” - ANSWER: Now, this is the reply I expected! I will add one note though…Lady Gaga’s fashion sense is considered “brilliant”…yet, when Bjork wore a swan dress, she was mocked…I respect Gaga much more than Bjork…but it’s nearly the same concept (fashion-wise).
From Michele - “Black eyed peas, my son loves them and my husband just kept saying “oh Fergie” with a child like grin smeared across his face” ANSWER - This made me laugh! Oh Fergie, ha ha.
February 1st, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
The Grammys -
Let’s start with the Grammys…
This will not earn points with Nathan…but while Lady Gaga was performing last night, all I could think was “Hey, is that Marilyn Manson”?
Beyonce - She lip-synched that whole thing last night. Oh, it’s true. I’m not a Beyonce fan…everything she does is way too over-produced and over-dramatic. Jennifer loved her shoes from last night…and we were both waiting for her wig (her third of the night) to go flying off during her performance. Why does she get the standing ovacation for lip-synching? Even her facial gestures irk me…it just seems like it’s all choreographed…I need a little bit of the unexpected.
Taylor Swift - She’s tall…and her and Stevie Nicks didn’t sound good together. She sounded fine by herself…just singing with Stevie, it just didn’t work.
Black Eyed Peas - Now, that’s how you put on a show. They were AWESOME last night. Their show in March is going to be crazy, crazy good…especially with Ludacris being added to the bill. That’s AWESOME.
Jaime Foxx - I’m done with you. How did you get that much time on the Grammys? And who was the random woman that came out during the performance? That was just bizarre. Jaime…way to parlay the success of your one song into an appearance on the Grammys.
Michael Jackson Tribute - Ugh. Really? All the songs that MJ did, and we go with that one? Boorrrrring. Did anyone have 3-D glasses? No. So that 3-D effect was just annoying more than anything else. Smokey Robinson coming out in pinks/yellows/blues? I thought he was sick or something….nope, just the 3-D effect. Why not just let Usher sing a song…and since he knows all of Michaels’ moves, he could have moonwalked across the stage, and it would have been fantastic.
Bon Jovi - Really 3 songs? And those 3? Except for “Livin’ on a Prayer” (which we only got one verse of anyways), the others don’t do anything for me. “Born to Follow” or whatever is a crap song. Here’s my point…Bon Jovi…he has what…like 40 great songs? And he sings that one? Ugh.
Zac Brown Band - Consider me a fan now. They were great….except I did think that old guy they were playing with could have died halfway through the song.
Overall…Grammys…very disappointing. Nothing exciting happened…there weren’t any moments that you went “Wow” (well, maybe for Pink flying around)…most of it was…ho hum, what’s next?
Weekend Plans/I am a Painter -
So we had a huge change of weekend plans…we were going to watch Dexter all day yesterday…but we got sidetracked by painting. I am a painter….I painted the kitchen cabinets and did a stellar job. It took me all day Saturday unhinging the doors, painting everything, re-hinging the doors, but it’s done, and they look great.
We were going to paint the kitchen as well. We were going to hire it out, but we thought, hey, let’s hire Jennifer’s brother, Michael. We were going to give him $250, and have him paint the kitchen and the bathroom on Sunday. We told ourselves to keep “our expectations low”…but it would get done….we never thought he just wouldn’t show up. No shame on Michael though…shame on Jennifer and me…we foolishly thought he would be able to do this task. Seriously, it’s Jennifer and I’s fault….we should know better.
So, now we’re going to have to hire out the kitchen and bathroom, but that’s fine…I just want it done….apparently, our agent says that a few people are already showing some interest in our house. Sweet!
Will I Be Late Tomorrow? -
Friday morning, my alarm didn’t go off…I was late to work by 8 minutes. Well, let me clarify… I usually make it work at 4:30…I use that half hour to get stuff ready for the show. So, Friday, I showed up at 5:08…not good…was running very far behind.
I couldn’t figure out what happened with my alarm….then I forgot about it. This morning…the alarm, again, does not go off. I wake up at 5:03. Oops. I make it work around 5:30…ridiculous. Definitely time to be buying a new alarm clock.
Will I make it to work on time tomorrow? Place your bets…
Cosi Cucina -
This pains me to write this next part…for I am/was a huge fan of Cosi Cucina…but I don’t think so anymore.
Jennifer and her friend Christi went there for dinner on Saturday night (I sort of persuaded them that they should…it’s always so good). Apparently…something has changed.
Jennifer and Christi got there at 6:30…and were seated at 7:00. They put their order in, and Jennifer actually put in order in for me to bring back home for me to eat…and told the waiter, “Could I have this ready for when I leave so it doesn’t get cold?” Apparently…this blew the waiter’s mind.
They didn’t get their food until 8:00!!! An hour! The waiter said that “they had lost their ticket”, yet, somehow still managed to remember the salads. During this hour, Jennifer and Christi saw other people get seated…served their food…and got their bill!!! all before they even got their food! Ridiculous.
When the food finally arrived…the waiter asks Jennifer to test the middle of the pasta to make sure it’s done enough, because the kitchen sort of hurried her order. It wasn’t warm enough, but Jennifer didn’t send it back…she’s pregnant…and she was hungry. It had been an hour. She did tell the waiter that it wasn’t done enough though.
Oh, apparently, my dinner was delivered at this time as well…not at the end of the meal that Jennifer had asked. The waiter felt bad, so he said they would throw in a free dessert…it was creme brulee? Whoo hoo!! Except that it was burnt. Ugh.
Jennifer felt really bad that she didn’t get me my dinner until almost 9:00…I was fine with that though…I felt bad for Jennifer and Christi for having to endure that dinner. Jennifer already has said that she won’t go back…after that, I am totally on board with that decision.
1 Day ‘Til Lost! -
Only one more day ’til LOST! It’s like a national holiday in our house. Poor Jennifer though, she’s been falling asleep around 8 each night on the couch…that won’t be a good night’s sleep for her tomorrow night…I’ll be too busy commenting on everything. She got into it two seasons ago to see what I liked about it…she likes the show…but she’s not into all the theories and stuff like I am.
The Invention of Lying -
This movie stars Ricky Gervais…and he’s AWESOME…so I’m a bit tilted on this movie. I really liked it though….a world without lying is a scary, strange, brutally honest place. Also, his explanation of religion is hysterical. It’s just a fun movie…that will make you chuckle throughout the entire movie. It’s definitely worth a rent.
Seriously, a world without lying? Count me out…it’s too brutal. Jennifer Garner and Rob Lowe are very good in this movie as well.
House Hunt -
We took a look at a few more houses on Friday night…we liked one a lot…but weird thing…the washer and dryer were in the garage! How do the pipes not freeze? I don’t think we’d ever do laundry during the winter…wayyy too cold.
January 29th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
I just got this sent to me by my friend Bartine…who had received it from a buddy, Michael. It’s a Korean all-girl pop group…start watching around the 1:08 mark…everyone wants to be a Hawkeye…it’s just bizarre.
January 29th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
The Iceman -
You know how we’ve seen about 5 stories this year on the news about somebody who runs out to his car to grab a pack of smokes, only to lock himself out of the house, and he freezes (and nearly dies). Take out the “smokes” part, and I nearly made the news yesterday.
I was going to run out to Lowes to get some paint for our kitchen…and on my way out, I grab my Ipod, my wallet, my cellphone, the garage door opener, a kitchen cabinet door (to match), and the garbage. What did I not pick up? My keys.
I open the garage door (from inside the house, thus leaving the opener inside the house). I close the door behind me. I have the initial thought…did I grab my keys? I’m sure I did. I walk to the garage, and throw out the garbage…I press the button inside the garage door to close the garage. I walk back to the house, locked…oh crap. I immediately look back and see the garage door closing…I make a mad dash for it, and actually dive and slide on the ground…outstretching my arm…the garage door senses my arm, stops closing, and re-opens.
I locked myself out…I have my jacket…a stocking cap…but no gloves. Arrrrgh.
It’s about 12:35…Jennifer normally comes home for lunch around 1:15. I call her….”Can you come home early for lunch?” Jennifer sounds surprised, as if thinking I have prepared something special for her…but no…she just married an idiot. She says she’ll be home in like 10-15 minutes, and she will hurry.
I set up in the garage…I close the garage door to block the wind…and then I sit in a tailgating chair, and I cover myself in painting tarps. It’s not warm….in fact, very very very cold. My hands are frozen…and I’m just sitting there, freezing. I didn’t even bring my earbuds, so I can’t listen to my Ipod. I’m just sitting like an idiot…freezing my butt off…waiting for death…imagining that I will leave a beautiful, frozen corpse.
About 12 minutes go by, and I hear Jennifer’s car pull up…I open the garage door…she is just standing there, laughing at me. Rightfully so…I look ridiculous.
My fingers and toes are frozen…and as I lower my coat from my mouth/nose area…Jennifer says “You are covered in snot”. She’s a lucky gal, ain’t she?
Thank you to Jennifer for saving my life!
NOTE: I texted Ken, Colleen, Mr. Allen, and my friend Bartine to let them know how dumb I am…Ken asked “If I needed any help”. After I texted them again to let them know that Jennifer saved my life…Ken texted back “Look who’s ready for fatherhood!” No kidding…I am dumb.
Painting -
Speaking of painting…no matter what they tell you…you can’t match paint. It just doesn’t happen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Fantastic Video -
Remember GLOW? The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling? It used to be on Saturday nights…and it was AWESOME (as in 80s AWESOME). Check out the “Housewives”. Wow.
Weekend -
This weekend, Jennifer and I are going to “de-clutter” the house. We have to de-personalize the house to get it ready for selling. Without all our frames/photos, the house is going to feel empty…but it’s for a good cause.
Sunday, though, is Jennifer and I’s big day. Thanks to my friend, and softball shortstop extraordinaire, BJ…we have the entire 4th season of Dexter on DVD. We’re going to watch all 12 episodes straight thru on Sunday. It’ll be an interesting day…Jennifer gets very stressed over Dexter. It is a stressful show, that’s for sure…but it’s AWESOME!
Road Trip -
By the way, I know I commented on the latest comedy album by Aziz Ansari on Wednesday’s blog. If you are doing any road trip…go get this album. You will roll with laughter, and your drive will go by much more quickly (Note: Not good for a family trip though).
January 28th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
The First Baby and Maternity Clothes -
Here’s Jennifer wearing, and holding up her first maternity shirt and baby one-sie that I bought her…
Jennifer is sporting a new “Mom in Training” shirt from Motherhood Maternity…and the Pearl Jam one-sie (in Vikings colors to appease Jennifer…the Pearl Jam is all my doing). I love the Pearl Jam logo…I want to get that as my next tattoo. The Pearl Jam one-sie came from the website Yayarocks.com.
By the way, yesterday was our first trip ever to Motherhood Maternity…holy cow, you get tons of free stuff. They give you gift bags full of all sorts of stuff.
Oh, we bought our first “Baby Name Book”…some names are hilarious. We are not going to disclose our name choices, but I will be putting up names that are definitely not on the list. Jennifer vetoed a few last night…like Wrigley, Sheffield, Waveland, and Cubbie. I thought I’d give it a shot though.
I Pass on the IPad -
So Apple’s big announcement was the Ipad yesterday…I will pass on this trend. We don’t need this people…we already have too many gadgets…it’s not healthy. I have an Ipod Nano and the original Ipod…and that’s all I need. I have a phone that text messages…that’s all I need. All this is is a bigger, albeit better, Palm Pilot…and who still has a Palm Pilot? Exactly. The Ipod Touch? I rarely see anyone with these.
Apple junkies will love this of course, and they will rush out to buy it the day it comes out…only to see that a better, more improved one will come out 2 months later.
America’s Bathroom Troubles -
Last night, on TV, I saw this batch of commercials all in one break…it went from FloMax…to Activia…to Cialis…then ended with some Irritable Bowel Syndrome commercial. Seriously, America, we seem to be having a LOT of bathroom issues lately. Wow.
Chipotle -
It had been almost a month since I had gone to Chipotle…we went yesterday…so good. Oh, how I missed you Chipotle and your AWESOME goodness.
No New Office -
What gives? Still no new episodes of “The Office” tonight? What gives? You give us a clip show last week…and then nothing new ’til February. Ugh…double up Ugh Ugh!!
If You See Me Walking With A Limp -
At basketball last night, my buddy Corey Simon (that’s right, full names here) asked if I was okay…I had hurt my leg two weeks ago, and it’s about 90% healed…but he noticed that I was limping in-between plays. I call it my “Shonn Greene”. If you remember back at Iowa, and even now with the Jets, whenver Shonn Greene would head back to the huddle, he always seems to be limping…I must have picked up that up or something. My leg doesn’t hurt…but limping just seems to be a more relaxing way to walk while on the court.
NOTE: If you just read that…I owe you 20 seconds on your deathbed…I stole too much of your time, sorry.
January 27th, 2010 by Big Ken, Colleen and Producer Kurt
From Kurt…
A Horrible Movie -
So, yesterday, Saw 6 came out…I’ve seen the previous 5…I’ve hated the last 4. The first one was original…different…and actually had a story. It made sense. Since then, it’s been ridiculous, yet I feel compelled to watch them all…I must see how this train wreck of a movie series will end.
If memory serves me correct, Jigsaw dies in #3…maybe #4. How is he still killing? Oh, with the help of some police investigator who absolutely sucks at acting. I don’t know his name, and don’t have the energy to look him up on imdb.com…but he’s awful. No expressions, no anything. He’s just there, and he’s annoying.
Even the death scenes in this #6 were uncreative. Really? Shotguns? C’mon….where’s the torture racks, the slow painful deaths…the “shock” value that the other Saw movies had. It was just boring, and I still don’t know if anything was really “solved” with this movie. During previous Saw movies, some of the scenes made me almost queasy…during this movie, though, I had lunch….yep, it was so uninspired that it didn’t even stop me from eating.
SPOILER ALERT!!! This movie sucks. The only plus side, it’s only 90 minutes long. Seriously, though, find something better to do with your 90 minutes…much like Jigsaw offers a choice, I chose to watch this movie for you, so you don’t have to…I was tortured by this movie, so you don’t have to be.
I get Tricked/Itunesday -
I went a little overboard on Itunes yesterday…and I got burned. Well, not really, but I do feel like I got bamboozled. This is what happens when I get a bunch of Itunes gift cards for Xmas…I get reckless.
What I bought…
True Faith - New Order - I had to buy a few 80s songs…something about “New Wave” appealed to me yesterday. This is a great song that I had almost forgotten about.
All That Money Wants - Psychadelic Furs - Again, another 80s song I had forgotten about…it had to be purchased. So far, I’m happy with my purchases.
“Healing Hands”, “Comin’ Back” - Citizen Cope - He sounds like a less-poserish Everlast…I like “Comin’ Back” over “Healing Hands”, but both are good songs.
“Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening” - Aziz Ansari - He plays Tom from Parks & Rec…and he his hilarious. Pick up this album of his, you will laugh your butt off. He’s great.
“My City of Ruins” - Eddie Vedder - The best song from the 9/11 tributes was Bruce Springsteen’s “My City of Ruins”. It’s a beautiful song…and now that Eddie Vedder has redone it…it qualifies as AWESOME. If you buy this on Itunes, some of the $$ gets sent to the Haiti relief fund. This song is fantastic. Well done Eddie.
“The Victory” - Number One Gun - I begin my impulse buying….I like this group though. I know nothing about them.
“Forest” - Number One Gun - I have found out something…I like the third track on albums…a lot. It seems that i have a trend of always buying the most popular song on the album, and the third track. This was the third track…I am proving my point.
And…here is where I get bamboozled…
I see this group called “House of Heroes“. I click on the album…I can buy it for $5.99…interesting. I listen to a few of the tracks…a good solid rock sound. I like 3 of the songs…I figure, I will buy the whole album, why not? It’s the difference of $3. I buy the album “The End is Not the End”…I’m happy with my purchase…until…I see in my Itunes category that it falls in a new genre…”Christian Alternative”. Oh no…what have I done? Inspirational, positive energy rock music? Nooooo!! I enjoy the loud, sometimes happy, sometimes feel good, sometimes angry rock…not positive/possibly make myself feel better rock. I feel like I’ve bought a Creed album…I’m disgusted with myself.
I talk to Ken about this morning, and he talks me off the ledge….he points out that some of the songs by The Fray and Augustana get categorized that way too…well put Ken…I am coming to terms with my purchase.
It was funny though, as soon as I saw the “Christian Alternative” genre…I told my wife, and then I texted a friend of ours (a church-goer) to see if she had ever heard of the group. She said she hadn’t…which, strangely, made me feel better. My life as a heathen continues, ha ha.
The Lost Supper -
We are techinically less than a week away from the final season of LOST kicking off. I could not be more excited…then I saw this photo…it’s called “The Lost Supper”…
I saw this one…
And then this one…
Oh the craziness…look at the differences between the photos…the second photo has some characters looking at Locke (sitting in the Jesus place…interesting)…others not looking at Locke…does that mean that they’ve turned against him? Awesome?! And look, Claire’s there…interesting…and Alana? Is she playing a bigger part this season? And Frank the pilot too?
Oh, and Kate sitting in the Judas spot? Fantastic. I’ve never liked her…if she gets killed this season, I’m fine with that. Oh, and look…Ben looks like he’s glaring at Locke. AWESOME!
If you don’t watch Lost…none of that made sense….and most of my Wednesday Blogs won’t make much sense…I can NOT wait for next Tuesday night!
House Hunting -
Jennifer and I took a look at some houses in Urbandale…and I think we’re getting closer to finding the house that we want. We also had our agent, Jon, take a look at our house…and he says that it looks really good…and he told us a possible market price, and Jennifer and I were really happy to hear a number that we liked. We’ve put a LOT of hardwork and money into improving the house, and I have a good feeling that it will pay off for us.
I just hope that whoever buys our house continues to keep improving it. I love our house, and I want to see it keep getting better.
Going to the Bathroom -
Jennifer is going to the bathroom 3-4 times a night…I feel bad for her. She never gets a good night’s sleep. Especially last night, with our cat Molly yakking in the middle of the night. Jennifer feels bad that she gets up so much because she wakes me up…I’m fine with it…I just wish that she could get a better night’s sleep.
